Common mistakes
Myself and me: reflexive pronouns without common mistakes
Sign in to saveYou might hear Please contact myself in a meeting or read Sam and myself in an email. The speaker may be trying to sound formal, but myself has a specific job. Once you check who does the action and who receives it, the choice becomes much easier.
Choose myself only when it refers back to I, use me after a verb or preposition, and use I when you are the subject.
Read and practice
Read the examples and try the written questions in this guide. Listening recordings are not available for this lesson yet.
Try the written questions
myself /maɪˈself/
The short answer
Use myself when it points back to I, as in I taught myself to swim, or when you want emphasis, as in I myself wrote the note. Use me when another person acts on you or after a preposition: Please send the note to me.
I gave myself ten minutes to prepare.
Why it works: I is the person who gave the time, and myself is the same person who received it. That subject-and-object link makes myself correct.
5 more examples
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I taught myself to use the new software.
The subject I and the learner myself are the same person, so the reflexive pronoun is needed.
Not this:The trainer taught
meto use the new software. What changes: The trainer and the learner are different people, so use the object pronoun me. -
Please send the revised file to me.
After the preposition to, the ordinary object pronoun is me.
Not this:I sent the revised file
to myselffor reference. What changes: Here I sent the file and I received it, so myself correctly refers back to I. -
Rina and I will present the proposal.
The phrase is the subject of will present. If you remove Rina, I will present is still correct.
Not this:The director invited
Rina and meto present the proposal. What changes: The phrase receives the action invited. Remove Rina and the sentence becomes The director invited me. -
I myself checked every address before the mailing.
Myself adds emphasis. It stresses that the speaker personally did the checking.
Not this:
I checkedevery address before the mailing. What changes: This is complete without emphasis. Adding myself makes personal involvement more noticeable. -
After the move, I lived by myself for a year.
By myself means alone, without another person living with or helping the speaker.
Not this:After the move, I lived
with my sisterfor a year. What changes: With my sister describes company. By myself describes being alone.
Read the full guide
Before choosing a pronoun, find the subject. Then ask whether the object is the same person. If the answer is yes and the subject is I, myself may be right. If someone else is doing something to you, or if the word follows to, for, with, or another preposition, choose me. In a pair such as my colleague and I, remove the other person for a quick check: My colleague and I arrived becomes I arrived.
Find the subject and the object
A reflexive pronoun points back to the subject of its clause. In I hurt myself, I did the action and myself received it. The two words name the same person. That is the basic reason for using myself.
I reminded myself about the appointment.
My colleague reminded me about the appointment. My colleague and me are different people, so the object is me.
Use me for an ordinary object
Use me when another person performs an action on you. The same rule applies after prepositions such as to, for, with, and from. Formal-sounding myself does not belong in these positions unless it truly refers back to I in the same clause.
The reception team gave me a visitor pass.
I gave myself a visitor pass in the training exercise. The second sentence has I as both giver and receiver.
Choose the pronoun: Could you copy ___ on the message?
Use me. You are asking another person to copy you, so the pronoun is an ordinary object.
Use I when the phrase does the action
When you are part of a subject with another person, use I: Omar and I agreed. A useful check is to remove the other name. I agreed works, while Me agreed does not.
My neighbour and I take turns watering the plants.
The caretaker thanked my neighbour and me after the meeting. The phrase receives thanked, so it takes me.
Use myself to add emphasis
Myself can emphasise the person who did something. This use is optional. I myself made the reservation has the same basic meaning as I made the reservation, but it highlights that the speaker did it personally.
I myself would check the date before booking.
I would check the date before booking is a simple recommendation. I myself would check it adds personal emphasis.
Understand by myself
By myself usually means alone or without help. It is different from the reflexive object in I taught myself. In both phrases, myself refers to I, but the word by changes the meaning.
The child packed the bag by herself.
The child packed the bag with her father means she had help or company. By herself means she did it alone.
Which phrase means alone: I solved it myself or I solved it by myself?
Both can stress personal action, but by myself most clearly means alone or without help.
Edit the common formal-sounding error
Writers sometimes choose myself because it seems more formal than me. Check whether I appears as the subject of the same clause. If it does not, choose me. Please contact me and The report was prepared by Lin and me are clear and standard.
For questions about the schedule, speak to Jordan or me.
For questions about the schedule, speak to Jordan or myself is not standard because myself has no I to refer back to.
Before you go
Remember this
Use myself when it refers back to I or when it adds emphasis. Use me for an object that is not reflexive, especially after a preposition. Use I when the pronoun is the subject. The quick removal test helps with phrases such as my colleague and I or my colleague and me.
Practice with the written examples
You can practice with the written questions in the Learn tab. Each answer includes an explanation.
Try the written questionsListening test not available yet
This lesson does not have the recordings needed for a listening test. Use the written questions in the guide to check your understanding.
Try the written questionsQuestions about "Myself and me: reflexive pronouns without common mistakes"
When should I use myself?
Use myself when it refers back to I in the same clause, as in I taught myself to use the new software. You can also use it for emphasis in I myself checked every address.
I taught myself to use the new software.
Why is Please contact myself incorrect?
Myself needs an I in the same clause to refer back to. In a request where another person will contact you, use the ordinary object pronoun: Please contact me.
The trainer taught me to use the new software.
Do I say my colleague and I or my colleague and me?
Use my colleague and I when the pair is the subject: My colleague and I arrived. Use my colleague and me when the pair is the object: The manager greeted my colleague and me.
Please send the revised file to me.
What does by myself mean?
By myself usually means alone or without help. After the move, I lived by myself for a year means that no one else lived with the speaker.
I sent the revised file to myself for reference.
Can myself add emphasis?
Yes. I myself checked every address adds emphasis to I and makes personal involvement clear. The sentence I checked every address is also correct when no emphasis is needed.
Rina and I will present the proposal.