Common mistakes
Who or whom: everyday and formal English
Do you pause when choosing who or whom? Turn the question into an answer to find the form.
Who is the subject form. Whom is an object form that is more common in formal (careful or polite) language.
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who or whom HOO-or-HOOM
In fast speech, who links smoothly to the next vowel sound without a pause.
The short answer
Use who for a subject; whom is an object form used in more formal styles. Everyday English often uses who as an object too.
Who called you this morning?
Why it works: Use who here because the person did the calling.
3 more examples
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A delivery arrives at your office desk.
Who sent you this package?
You use who because this person performed the action.
Not this:
Whomsent you this package? What changes: You sound overly stiff and make a grammar mistake in the subject position. -
Asking a colleague about a visitor.
Who did you talk to at the front desk?
In relaxed speech, who sounds natural even when asking about the object.
Not this:
Whomdid you talk to at the front desk? What changes: The question is grammatical, but it may sound more formal than a friendly chat needs. -
Writing an official business email.
To whom should we send the signed contract?
Use whom directly after a short linking word in official writing.
Not this:To
whoshould we send the signed contract? What changes: You create a nonstandard form in an official document.
Quick check
Which word fits best in this sentence?
A coworker asks about a morning phone call.
___ answered your phone call?
Answer: Who
Show the answer
Answer: Who
The missing word does the action of answering, so we use the subject word who.
Read the full guide
Try the listening exercise
Find the subject form
The problem: I know the rule but I still choose the wrong form when I speak.
Turn the question into an answer first. If he fits in the answer, use who. If him fits, whom is possible in formal (careful or polite) language.
Start with the question.
Who did you invite?
Him is an object form. Whom is possible in a more formal question.
You invited him.
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Not this:
Whom baked this cake?Say: Who baked this cake?
The answer is He baked the cake, so who is the subject form.
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Who invited you to the party?
Why it works: She invited you, so who is correct.
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He is the manager whom they hired.
Why it works: They hired him, so whom is an object form in this more formal relative clause.
-
Who was invited to the reception?
Why it works: The guest received the invitation, but who is still the subject of was invited.
Your turn
Choose the correct word to complete the question.
A receptionist asks who left a phone message.
___ called the office before lunch?
Answer: Who
Show the answer
Answer: Who
He called the office, so the subject form who is correct.
Choose a word order
The problem: I get stuck when a short word like to or with is involved and do not know where to place it.
You can write Who did you go with? or With whom did you go? Both are grammatical. The second is more formal (careful or polite), and with makes whom its object. Time or place words can still follow a phrase such as talk to.
The linking word comes later in the clause.
Who did you go with?
With comes before whom, which is the object of with.
With whom did you go?
Your turn
Type the missing word in this official email line.
Writing an official letter to a department head.
Answer: To whom should I address this letter?
Show the answer
Answer: whom
To whom is a more formal choice. Who should I address this letter to? is also grammatical.
Sound natural in everyday talk
The problem: I never know whether using who as an object will make me sound uneducated.
You are talking with a friend after lunch and ask who they invited. This is common in everyday speech. Keep who in the question when you want an ordinary, friendly tone. Whom is grammatical too, but may sound more formal there.
- Liam
Who did you meet at the marketing workshop?
- Sofia
I met the design director. We had lunch together.
Your turn
Which question sounds most natural when asking a friend about lunch?
Chatting with a friend in a break room.
___ did you invite to lunch today?
Answer: Who
Show the answer
Answer: Who
For ordinary conversation, who is the most natural choice. Whom is more formal, not ungrammatical.
Separate whose and who's from whom
The problem: I confuse whom with whose and who's when writing.
You find an unclaimed bag and need to ask who owns it. Use whose to show ownership and who's as a short form for who is or who has. Use whom as an object form in more formal language.
| Word | Meaning | Example |
|---|---|---|
| whose | shows ownership | Whose laptop is on the table? |
| who's | short for who is or who has | Who's leading the morning meeting? |
| whom | object form in more formal language | The writer whom we hired is here. |
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Not this:
Whom coat is hanging by the door?Say: Whose coat is hanging by the door?
Use whose because the coat belongs to someone.
Your turn
Choose the word that shows ownership of the phone.
A phone rings in an empty meeting room.
___ phone is ringing on the desk?
Answer: Whose
Show the answer
Answer: Whose
Whose shows ownership, while who's means who is.
Before you go
Question 1 of 3
Put the words together to form a natural spoken question.
Asking a coworker about a client call.
Answer: Who did you talk to yesterday?
Show the answer
Answer: Who did you talk to yesterday?
In everyday speech, who is common. The phrase talk to comes before the time word yesterday.
Question 2 of 3
Which phrase correctly starts this formal business letter?
Writing an official reference letter.
To ___ It May Concern,
Answer: Whom
Show the answer
Answer: Whom
To Whom It May Concern is a standard official greeting.
Question 3 of 3 · One new sentence
In ordinary everyday conversation at an international conference dinner, which question sounds most natural?
At a conference dinner with a colleague.
___ did you sit next to during the keynote speech?
Answer: Who
Show the answer
Answer: Who
For ordinary talk, who is most natural. Whom is more formal, not ungrammatical. Here, to is part of sit next to.
Remember this
Use who for a subject, even in a passive sentence. Turn the question into an answer before you test he or him.
Listen first
Listen and write
Listen, type what you hear, then choose Check my answer. Use a hint when you get stuck.
0 of 3 done
Listening 1 of 3
Listen, then type what you hear. Replay as often as you need.
0:00
Read the transcript
Who organized the morning planning meeting for our team?
Who is the subject because that person organized the meeting.
Listening 2 of 3
Listen, then type what you hear. Replay as often as you need.
0:00
Read the transcript
Who did the manager speak to before lunch today?
In speech, who is common. To follows speak, then time words follow.
Try a longer clip. Listen once, then replay the part you missed.
Listening 3 of 3
Listen, then type what you hear. Replay as often as you need.
0:00
Read the transcript
Elena is the designer who built our website last spring. She told us whom the committee selected for the main leadership prize. We're all excited about her success.
Who is the subject of built; whom is the object of selected.
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Test yourself
Listen to a new clip and write what you hear. You can replay it, but hints stay off and the transcript opens after you check your answer.
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Listening 1 of 4
Listen, then type what you hear. Replay as often as you need.
Listening to a business team ask who should receive signed agreements.
0:00
Read the transcript
To whom should we send these signed legal agreements?
To whom is more formal. Careful questions need not put to first.
Listening 2 of 4
Listen, then type what you hear. Replay as often as you need.
Asking who owns a notebook left in the conference room.
0:00
Read the transcript
Whose notebook was left behind on the conference table?
Whose shows ownership of the notebook on the table.
Listening 3 of 4
Listen, then type what you hear. Replay as often as you need.
A human resources update regarding a recent interview process.
0:00
Read the transcript
The director met the candidate with whom we spoke earlier. Everyone agreed that she's ready for the new role. We'll send the contract today.
With whom is a more formal pattern. It makes whom the object of with.
Listening 4 of 4
Listen, then type the missing words. The rest of the text is already there.
A project manager choosing more formal or everyday phrasing in a proposal.
0:00
Read the transcript
Our team reviewed the project notes this morning. We decided to write To Whom It May Concern on the official cover letter. The partners with whom we worked last year approved the full project outline. When we phone the office tomorrow, we'll ask who manages the daily schedule. This approach keeps our communication clear and effective.
Careful language can use whom after a linking word. Everyday speech usually uses who.
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Save my progressQuestions about "Who or whom: everyday and formal English"
What is the difference between who and whom?
Who is used as a subject and often as an object in everyday English. Whom is the object form of who, used as the object of a verb or a preposition such as to or with. It is more formal. In Who was invited?, who is still the subject, although someone receives the invitation.
Who brought the spare keys?
The colleague to whom I sent the invoice replied.
How does the he-or-him test help with who and whom?
Turn the question into an answer or statement first, then test he or him in that statement. If he fits, use who. If him fits, whom is possible in more formal language.
Who will lead the meeting?
The manager thanked him.
Can I use who as an object in everyday questions?
Yes. In everyday conversation, speakers commonly use who as an object in questions and clauses. Whom is less common, but it remains grammatical in more formal speech or writing.
Who did you choose for the team?
Who are you waiting for?
Why can whom follow to or with in more formal language?
In more formal language, a preposition such as to or with can come directly before whom. In everyday speech, who with the preposition later is also grammatical and common. Formality is a style choice, not a rule about writing only.
With whom did the committee meet?
Who did the committee meet with?
How are whose and who's different?
Whose asks about ownership. Who's is a short form of who is or who has. Neither word is another spelling of whom.
Whose umbrella is by the door?
Who's joining the call this afternoon?
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